life by kristtie buck

When i was little my parents argued all the time. sometimes worse than others.. there were noghts were i didnt know where we would be sleeping that night. i remember nights where my mom would make us leave at three in the morningg and wuld walk and just walk and none of us knew where we were really going. my dad was crazyy.. messed on meth and an alchoholic. there was a time i remember very welll… too well and id rather not remember. my dad had tried to kill my mom… and me. i was sitting on her lap and he was pointing a gun at her and a grabbed her face and yelled no. his exact words: you think thats gonna stop me? i’ll shoot you too. as a daughter at such a youn age then i culdnt understand why a father would be doing somethin like that too his family. hes supposed to care and be protective of everything his daughter does.. but he didnt care at all… hes not in my life now. hasnt been for such a long time. my mom finally decided that being scared wasnt an option and left him when i was probably around 6. and i havent seen him since. im 16 now. its been 10 long years. hes never made and effort to see or talk to me. holidays pass and birthdays come and go. nothing. he was crazy and so mean.. but there is still a piece of me that wants too see him so bad and wants to talk too him. we moved away from that town toget away from all the bad memories. but every now and then i have a nightmare where he finds me and kills me. and it scares me. and he thought of being home alone scares me so much. i just wish he could have been a father. and that i couldve been daddys little girl..


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